Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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