Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
