My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
