Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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