He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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