What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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