Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You need a sexual gate keeper
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
