This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
