I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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