no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
