You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
