I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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