On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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