me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
