Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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