WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
