My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
