my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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