Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
