Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
