would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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