'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
