whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
