mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
