Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
