I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
