let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
