Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
