She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
