Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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