sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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