Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
