no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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