We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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