It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
