I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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