She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I wear drunk well.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
