Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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