I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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