just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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