JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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