We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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