OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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