3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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