This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
