just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
