I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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