I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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