Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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