what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
