I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
