I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize