I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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