That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
