I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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