if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
