so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
this will be a night to untag.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
