one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize